It's time to end our linguistic ineptitude and make language study compulsory once again

"Bonjour, avez-vous le… ermmm… je voudrais… ermmm," I started. "Mon amis est malade," I tried, unable to think of the French for cold or flu. I moved on to mime: faking a cough, wrapping my arms around myself and pretending to shiver. The woman behind the counter held out some tablets but I shook my head.

Then it was tearing open an imaginary sachet, pouring it into a cup, adding water and drinking – blowing occasionally to indicate heat. She looked bemused. "Le flu?" I pleaded.

The Observer